This is a compilation of all the lines we have posted up on the blog thus far. It will be updated frequently.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
What does it feel like to be the most handsome boy in this room?
Is your last name Gilette? Because you’re the best a man can get.
There isn’t a word in the dictionary to describe how good you look.
I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
You are a 9, but you’d be a perfect 10 with me.
You are the reason girls fall in love.
You are the reason boys fall in love.
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to get married?
You see my friend over? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
There’s side view, rear view, and what else? I loview.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
Be unique and different. Say yes.
I’m sorry, I forgot your name. Can I just call you mine?
You forgot my name? That’s okay, you can call me yours.
Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
My name isn’t Elmo but you can tickle me any time you want.
You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King. You treat me right and I’ll do it your way.
Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
I ship us.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Do you know what the longest bone in your body is? Mine.
I have the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.
Well I’m here! What are your other two wishes?
Your smile is the most beautiful curve on your body.
Nice legs. When do they open?
Excuse me, do you have raisins? How about a date?
Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
Where did your smile go? (checks back pocket) here it is!
Have you always been this cute?
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
You’re nothing short of my everything.
If I told you I love you, can I keep you forever?
How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
Do you work for UPS? I could’ve sworn I saw you checking out my package.
If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
The word of the day is ‘legs.’ Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
You have been very naughty. Go to my room!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Wanna try an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.
Excuse me, can you scratch my back? My arms are too muscular to reach.
How did you get to be so beautiful?
I think I could make you very happy
There’s a party in my pants and you’re invited.
I need a lifeguard right now because I’m drowning in your eyes.
Are you a cougar? …do you want to be?
What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
You must be in the wrong place—the Miss Universe pageant is over there.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I know it’s not Christmas, but Santa’s lap is always ready.
Your body is Wonderland and I want to be Alice.
You can fall off a building, you can fall off of a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
Your place or mine?
I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?
Can we just make-out already?
There are Skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?
If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
Hey beautiful. That’s your name, right?
I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.
Why don’t you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
My name is Haywood Jablomee.
Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.
Can I buy you a drink? Or do you just want the money?
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well then I guess you know what I’m here after.
Your body is 70% water and I’m thirsty.
That’s a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
If I had a garden, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.
All those curves and me with no brakes.
I’m glad I’m not blind.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Should I call you in the morning? Or just nudge you?
There is nothing like a soft woman to rest your head on.
My mind is telling me no, but my body is telling me yes.
I’d like to passionately kiss you on the lips, then I’d move up to your belly button.
I don’t know your mother, but I know who your daddy is.
Is your name Winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
I have no gag reflex.
They call me the King of the North, but I’d go south on you.
You know what I like in a girl? My dick.
Can you hold this for me while we walk? (holds out hand)
I thought you were adorable and I had to come meet you.
You’re cute. What’s your name?
It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you, too.
You should be someone’s wife.
You should be someone’s husband.
You give a whole new meaning to the word ‘edible.’
Wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
You should stop drinking. (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
How can I love you if you won’t lay down?
You know how your hair would look good? In my lap.
Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
When does your centerfold come out?
Can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
I’m easy. Are you?
I can sense that you are a terrific lover and that intimidates me a little.
Let’s play house. You be the door and I’ll slam you all night long.
If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas, would you mind if I visited you inbetween the holidays?
Smile if you want to sleep with me.
Your dress is fantastic, but it would look better rumpled up at the foot of my bed.
I wish we were in telophase so I could admire your cleavage.
I wish I was your secant line so I could touch you in at least two places.
Do you want to do a 68? You go down and I’ll owe you one.
Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Hello there. My name is what you’ll be screaming tonight.
Don’t you know me from somewhere?
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
Hey, come here often? You could, with me.
Wow, you sure are bright. Were you raised by the stars?
May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?
It must be dark outside ‘cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.
Do you have an inhaler? Because you’ve got ass ma.
I hate to see you go, but I love watching you leave.
Shall we talk? Or continue flirting from a distance?
What would you do if I kissed you right now?
If you hold a dozen roses and look into the mirror, you’ll see the 13 most beautiful things in the world.
Baby, I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
Will you be mine?
Champagne can be tickly. So can I.
Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
Coffee? Tea? Me?
Good news! The test results were negative.
Hey, don’t frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.
I have just met you and I love you.
I want to melt in your mouth, not your hand.
Once you pop, the fun don’t stop.
So do you wanna see something really swell?
If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?
I’ve got the hot dog and you’ve got the buns.
I heard sex was killer. Want to die happy?
I can’t find my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went inside this cheap motel room.
I’m gonna have to put you on my ‘To Do’ list.
Save a horse—ride a cowboy.
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl’s destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
I have a six inch tongue and I can breathe with my ears.
My boys over there bet that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
Wanna get lucky?
Have you ever kissed a rabbit in between the ears? (Pulls pockets inside out) Do you want to?
We would make some pretty babies.
I am a magical being. Now take off your bra.
Let’s go to my place and do all the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Since you’re a bird watcher, would you take this for a swallow?
I want to put my thingy into your thingy.
What do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?
Your lips are kind of wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
Is your dress felt? Would you like it to be?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Which is easier, you getting into those tight pants or me getting you out of them?
Come over here and get a little taste of America’s Most Wanted.
Smile. Its the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
What time do you get off? Can I watch?
I have a job for you, but it blows.
What’s the name of your perfume? “Catch of the Day?”
You’ve got the whitest teeth I’d ever want to come across.
I’m not a queen, but I’ll give you something royal.
I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
Just where do those legs of yours end?
Hi, I’m writing a paper on the finer things in life and I was wondering if I could interview you.
Slow down sugar, I’m diabetic.
You’re so selfish! You’re going to have that body for the rest of your life and you won’t let me have it for one night!
I can see you right now. How about tomorrow?
My lips are registered weapons.
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.
Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.
Do you want to play midget boxing? Get down on your knees and give me a couple of blows.
Do I hear raindrops or am I just officially missing you?
You remind me of my second wife. I’ve only been married once.
Those are some tight jeans. Mind if I squeeze in?
You look familiar. Did we have class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I want my dick inside of you.
I may not be a genie but I can make your wishes come true.
Are you on Nickelodeon? ‘Cause you’re a-Dora-ble!
Hey. You’re hot.
My love for you is like the universe, never ending.
The night is young, the moon is bright, and you are here with me tonight.
Is your name Jesse? Because I’m gonna love you to infinity and beyond.
I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
What’s the strongest muscle in your mouth? My dick.
Are you Jaws? Because I’d let you eat me for 4 movies straight.
I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.
If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
You’re like the lyrics to my favorite song, hard to forget and always on my mind.
I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
You’re so charming you put Flitwick to shame!
Today I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to lay in your bed.
I’d like to put my needle in your haystack.
Can I check you for ticks?
What do I want to do? You.
I’m good with my fingers.
Are you from Florida? Because I want to put my palm on your tree.
I’m better than the Titantic. Only 200 women went down on it.
If you were my homework, I’d slam you on the table and do you all night long.
I love your earrings. They really bring out your tits.
Drummers bang harder
I googled your name earlier…I clicked on ‘I’m Feeling Lucky.’
On average, sex burns about 300 calories per hour. Wanna exercise?
Are we related? Do you wanna be?
Do you like long walks on the beach?
I’m sorry; I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.
Is this the Matrix? Because I think you’re the one.
Hey baby, I’m a star. Wanna taste my milky way?
I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you?
Is your womb available for rental?
Your use of correct punctuation turns me on.
Where have I seen you before? Oh, in the dictionary next to KA-BAAM!
The only girl I love now is you, but in ten years, I’ll love another girl. She’ll call you ‘Mommy.’
I’m like a jungle gym baby, you can climb on top.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Are you a bed? Because I want to be on you all night long.
I see you’re drinking one percent. Is that because you think you’re fat? Because you’re not. You could totally be drinking whole if you wanted to.
Can I insert my basilisk into your Chamber of Secrets?
Life is short and you are hot.
I know I’m pretty damn great, but I’ve never been this close to perfection.
Sure, four plus four equals eight, but you plus me equals fate.
I don’t have to wear a bracelet to show you that I love boobies.
If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
Don’t ever change. Just get naked.
Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements.
You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you.
On your mark, get set, suck my dick.
I can turn your floppy disk into a hard drive.
Let’s play Titanic. When I say ‘glacier’ you go down.
I finally got the courage to ask you on a date. So just say yes and let the future fall into place.
I can show you the world.
You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
How much did you pay for those pants? You could get them 100% off at my place.
Guitarists know how to use their fingers.
Do you work at Dick’s? Cause you’re sporting the goods.
Hi I’m curiosity and I’m here to kill your cat.
Trombone players do it in seven positions.
You must be tired after everything we did in my dream last night.
Hey girl, feel my sweater. You know what that’s made out of? Boyfriend material.
Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.
You’re better than the girl of my dreams. Why? Because you’re real.
Some people can touch my heart, but you can touch everything else.
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
You’re the 9 and I’m the 6 so drop your pants and suck my dick.
Baby, I love you from here to the end of my dashboard.
I’m like a Rubik’s cube; the more you play with me, the harder I get.
Hey, what are you doing tonight? I don’t know. I do.
You’re the type of girl I’d make a sandwich for.
Is your name Macintosh? Because you’re the apple of my eye.
Are you a camera? Because everytime I look at you, I smile.
I think I left a blowjob at your house. Do you mind if I come by and get it?
I’ll always have a cache for you.
The body has 206 bones, but if we go back to my place, I can give you another one.
Can I fire my proton torpedoes into your thermal exhaust port?
Let’s be nothing because nothing lasts forever.
What do you mean we have nothing in common? We both think I’m funny.
Can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I would call when I found someone better.
I heard you ride horses. Want to ride a stallion?
Do you like salad? I want to put my ranch in your hidden valley.
You can’t say ‘happiness’ without ‘penis.’
My dick just died. Can I bury it in your ass?
It may be cold outside, but it’s warm in my pants. Wanna get in them?
Is it weird that now when I picture you inside my mind, I can only picture you naked?
Did you just eat some Lucky Charms? ‘Cause you’re looking magically delicious.
So you’re straight? So are noodles until they get hot.
Banjo players finger faster.
You look sexy with your hair pushed back.
You and I would look nice on top of a wedding cake.
Take off your clothes and let’s have sex.
If you’re a doctor, please check me out.
Do you know who you’re being for Halloween? Because I was thinking to go as Bruno Mars and you can go just the way you are.
Let’s play carpenter. I’ll be the hammer and I’ll nail you.
Let’s go out for texting and scones.
You’re the type of boy I’d make a sandwich for.
This butterbeer is a portkey. In no time, you’ll be back at my place.
You’re cute. Let’s mate.
Stick your hand over my broom and say ‘up.’
Are you Swiss? Because you’re beautiful and full of holes.
You’re a major part of my life. Without you, I would Bb.
I like your hair. Can I pull it from behind?
I wish we lived on a keyboard so that U and I would be together.
My mom told me to never look at pretty girls because I’d turn into a statue. In fact, I can feel myself getting hard right now.
Field hockey players do it for 60 minutes in 11 different positions.
Bassists do it deeper.
You’re a QT 3.14
Why pay $5 for a footlong when you can get this one for free?
What a lovely shirt you have on, would you like to engage in sexual intercourse?
Are you from Texas? Because everything bigger down south.
So I heard that you’re a balloon. Can I blow you?
I’m good with mind games, so can i play with your head?
I’m like the Golden Snitch. I open at touch.
Cross country runners do it in the woods.
You must be the square root of negative one, because you cannot be real.
Do you get out of your clothes as fast as you can get in them?
Your biceps are huge. Kiss me.
if you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be Mcgorgeous.
Swallow. There are people starving in Africa.
I know what you should be for Halloween. Mine.
Are you an excited electron? Cuz I’d like to take you to the next level.
What do you prefer: blueberries or bananas? I’d like to know what type of pancakes to make you in the morning.
Let’s play war. I’ll lie down, and you blow the fuck out of me.
I’m a dancer. Wanna test my flexibility?
Are you a Weeping Angel? ‘cause I can’t take my eyes off you.
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want.
Knick knack, paddy wack, give a dawg a bone.
I could respect you.
Shut up and sleep with me.
I’m kind of slow tonight. How about fucking some sense into me?
I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
Let’s play lion tamer. You get down on all fours and I’ll stick my head in your mouth.
I know I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak, but can I still enter your restricted section?
Hi, I’m Superman. Could you be my Lois Lane?
I could teach you some stuff. Is your stamina good enough?
Volleyball players like it on the floor.
I opened my fortune cookie today. Your name was on it.
Those boobs look heavy. Can I hold them for you?
You stole my heart, so can I steal your last name?
If I jumped on your back would you beat me off?
You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Baby, are you related to Yoda? Because yodalicious.
Let’s play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
I was wondering…do your lips taste as good as they look?
Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number.
You like sleep? So do I. Let’s do it together.
If kisses were raindrops, I’d send you showers. If hugs were minutes, I’d give you hours.
I’m going to give you an Everstone because I like you just the way you are.
Did you learn Flash? Your smile could light the darkest of caves.
You’re like a rare candy. You take me to a whole new level.
You must know tail whip because your beauty leaves me defenseless.
Hey baby, can I be your enzyme? My active site is dying for a chemical reaction.
Are you an amino acid? You’re making my polypeptide chain longer and longer.
It’s not the length of the vector that counts, it’s how you apply the force.
Is your name Piccolo? Because I’d like the Nail you.
My bedroom is like the hyperbolic time chamber. If we go in it I’ll give you a year’s worth of pleasure in one night.
Girl, you’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m not just sayin’ it, I’m Super Saiyan it.
Is your name Vegeta? How about you give me a final flash?
Are you a member of the ginyu force? ‘Cause I can see you in a lot of exotic positions.
Can I tie your shoes? I don’t want you falling for anybody else.
Swimmers do it in the water.
On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need.
Hold your breath for five seconds! Don’t say I never took your breath away.
Whoever said Disney was the happiest place on earth hasn’t been in your pants.
You know what I’m gonna be for Halloween? Yours.
it doesn’t matter what you wear when you come over.. ‘Cause its gunna come all off anyway.
I could see myself caring for you.
Are you from Japan? Because I’m trying to take Japanese off.
I really want to kiss you right now.
Save a bed. Let’s sleep together.
Are you the dub to my step? cause’ I wub wub wub you
Are you a tower? Cause Eiffel for you.
Are you garbage because I want to take you out.
They call me coffee. I grind so fine.
Did you sit in a puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
You seem like a very politically active girl, what do you say the two of us go protest and occupy my bed?
Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.
What’s crackin’? Your lips.
You’re the answer to all of my problems
Are you a baker? Because you make my banana cream.
I’ll slime you so hard you could be on nickelodeon
Do me a favor and marry me.
Save a drum. Bang a drummer.
Is your dad a terrorist? because you’re the bomb
Are you out of breath from running through my head all night?
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet.
Tell your tits to stop staring at my eyes.
Twinkle twinkle little star, let’s have sex inside my car.
You mean the world to me.
You magnetize my poles.
You turn me on.
Aorta tell you how much I love you.
You fog my spectacles.
You charge my particles.
I lichen you a lot.
I want to rock you like the eighties.
I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
I’ll show you what love really feels like.
What size shoe do you wear? I’m going to guess size sexy.
Your clothes would like nice on my bedroom floor.
You’re so hot, even my zipper is falling for you.
Is your name Waldo? Because someone like you is hard to find.
Is math your favorite subject? Because you’re pretty in every angle.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Put your hand over my crotch and say yip yip.
Let’s build a rhythm.
What’s your sign? Is it please let me touch your ass?
You fit me better than my favorite sweater.
Your beauty is like a delicate pelican swooping into a careening river.
There’s something on your butt—my eyes.
Your face…I like that shit.
I bet you’d look better with my shirt on than I do.
Do you know the date and the time? I want to remember the exact moment I met you.
If you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.
Do you think you could fall for me?
You must know a good rain dance because you’re making me wet.
You can fill my caudate nucleus with dopamine any time of the day.
Do you have the time? The time to write down my number?
Excuse me, you dropped something. My jaw.
If I could be anything, I’d be a tear: born in your eye, live at your cheek, and die at your lips.
Did you have Campbell’s soup today? Because you’re lookin’ mmm mmm good.
When’s our wedding date?
If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?
Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Falling for you would be a very short trip.
Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.
Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams.
You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
Want to play conductor? You’ll be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.
You be the tree and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.
If home is where the heart is, then my home is with you.
May I have some kisses up here, please?
You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
If you gave me a penny for my thoughts, I’d only have one cent because I only think about one thing—you.
I don’t speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.
Do you have a Band-Aid? I hurt my knee when I fell for you.
Are you bored? Because I really want to nail you.
Since we’re in a theater, why don’t we get some play?
You don’t even have a fishing pole and I’m hooked.
I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did.
You won’t have to wait for my call tomorrow if you sleep over.
I’ve had a terrible day, and it always makes me happy to see a gorgeous woman smile. Would you smile for me?
I sacrificed my dignity to come talk to you. The least you could do is say yes.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for shortages they might have? Well, I don’t even own a car.
Wow, and I thought I was good-looking.
I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on. Oh, you do? It must be 15 minutes fast.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Nice virginity. Can I have it?
There are 21 letters in the alphabet, right? Oh wait, nevermind. I missed u r a q t.
I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
You remind me someone. That’s right—my next boyfriend.
If I were a pirate would you let me get a piece of your booty?
You must know a good sun dance, ‘cause you’re makin’ me hot.
You can pick the place for our honeymoon.
Hi, I’m the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or back?
So, you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we’ll call it formal sex.
I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.
If you were a train, I’d jump on that caboose.
If you ever go camping in the woods and a bear attacks you, I hope it doesn’t attack your face because I think you’re really cute.
You’d look good in my arms.
Hey, how are you? You’re fine? I asked you how you were, not how you looked.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
If I used spell check, it would turn ” you & I ” into “us”.
Not even Helgen’s dragon can compare with your hotness.
My car has too much gas in it. You need to let me drive you home.
It looks like you need somebody to love you, and baby, I’m a keeper.
I’d better put you in a Goron tunic because you’re too damned hot.
They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing.
I hope you like the Backstreet Boys because my penis is larger than life.
You must be my new boss because you just gave me a raise.
If you jingle my bells I can give you a white Christmas.
I’d liked to find out how many licks it takes to get to your center.
Do you like to party? Then crawl up my leg and have a ball!
I don’t like screamo but I can make you scream “ohh!”
Hey, I’m in a band.
Want me to be like Santa and climb down your chimney?
How about we start a movement of our own? We’ll call it Occupy My Pants.
If a picture of you came up on my dashboard, I’d reblog it.
Hi. You may not know me but I certainly know you. We have 37 mutual friends on Facebook so there’s a chance we might actually be compatible as lovers or, at the very least, good friends. I also follow you on Twitter and think you’re super funny. So what do you say? Wanna bone? I mean, every time I lurk you, it feels like we’re having sex so it wouldn’t be that big of a stretch.
I’m no fairy godmother, but my magic wand will definitely make your dreams come true.
Call me Midnight - ‘cause I’ll make that dress disappear.
You can call me Nemo, because I’m never afraid to touch the butt.
Enter my Cave of Wonders and I’ll let you ride my magic carpet.
Come into my room and I’ll make a man out of you.
I’m not Rapunzel, but I’ll still let you pull my hair.
I don’t need my magic carpet to take you over, sideways and under.
You’re just sexy enough to make me a sandwich.
You’re like an electric blanket; you warm me up in all the right places.
Are you from Africa? Because African love you.
If I was a fermata, would you hold me?
Aye chica, you Juan the dick?
Did you just use the ‘Petrificus Totalus” spell? Because of you, I’m stiff.
Are you an iPhone app? ‘Cause I would Tap Tap that ass.
I don’t have a lazy eye; I was trying to wink at you.
Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you have tied my heart in a knot.
Do you work at Taco Bell? Because you really spice up my night.
If I were a leprechaun, you’d be my pot of gold.
Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican be crazy.
Off with your clothes.
You’re so gneiss, I’d never take you for granite.
Are you from Taiwan? Cause Taiwan a be with you.
Hey I lost my phone somewhere near here, can you call me?
I can be in a room full of people, and you would still be the only person that can catch my eye.
Save a straw, suck a dick.
I like my women like my cell phone - plenty of service but always silent.
How big is your sword, fish?
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blanket. Just plug me in and I’ll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
hey babe, wanna get a look at my “meat thermometer?
If you don’t like Turkey, I got another kind of meat you
I know a way to make you really want to say “THANK YOU!!”
Is that your pop up timer or are you just happy to see me?
So THAT’S why we came to the New World…
You’re my reason to give thanks.
Hey baby, wanna help me get the juice out of my baster?
I have something for you to gobble on.
Call me Mr. Pilgrim. I can make your Plymouth Rock.
I haven’t swept the floor yet. Sorry if your knees get dirty.
Brr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Are those Guess jeans? ‘Cause guess who wants to get into them.
I’d prefer you with the lights on.
I’ll show you my giblets if you show me yours.
I’ll buy you food.
If you were a Dementor, I’d become a criminal just to get your kiss.
My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!
My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.
Are you with AT&T? Because you got my bar raised.
I waste all my time just thinking of you.
I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete.
I may look like an Ewok, but I’m all Wookiee where it counts, baby.
I heard your vagina is a Horcrux. I’m afraid I’ll have to destroy it.
See something you like?
I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
I’m looking for someone to fill the position as my cuddle partner, would you like to apply?
I’d stop playing Skyrim for you.
Do you like soda? Because I’d love to mountain dew you.
If you weren’t a figment of my imagination, I’d want to have your babies.
Come with me, mistletoe’s that way.
It’s my duty to please that booty.
I’m changing my name to Uncle Sam, because I want you.
I want to kiss your lips. The ones between your hips.
You’re like a butterfly. Pretty to see, hard to catch.
You not only caught my eye, but you caught my heart.
You’re with me all the time.
You had me at hello.
I wish I was the friction in your jeans.
Let’s flip a coin; heads you’re mine, tails I’m yours.
I might need Life Alert because I’ve fallen in love with you and can’t get up.
I would break the laws of physics for you.
Hi. You’re cute.
A-B-C-D-E-F-G R-U-D-T-F with me?
You must be a banana because I find you a peeling.
Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world?
Your title must be the Thief of Heart, because you’ve just stolen mine.
One, two, three, four, I declare a tongue war.
If you were a president, you’d be called Babe-braham Lincoln.
I may not be 5 gum but I can still stimulate your senses.
Your eyes are as blue as the ocean and baby, I’m lost at sea.
You see that door over there? Let’s go out.
Baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Are you from Korea? Because you could be my Seoul mate.
You must be from Ireland, because my dick is Dublin.
I’ll misbehave if it turns you on.
Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
You’re like Cheerios, you’re good for my heart.
Are you Snickers? ‘Cause you satisfy me.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
If I were you, I’d have sex with me.
Are you from India? Because I’m trying to get In-di-a pants.
Were you raised on a farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock
I’m an astronaut. Can my rocket ship explore your black hole?
I sleep with the light on because I’m afraid my dreams wont find you in the dark
You may think I’m ugly and I may think you’re hot, but opposites attract, right?
If looks could kill, you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
I never had a dream come true until the day that I found you.
Are your legs made of Nutella? ‘Cause I’d like to spread them.
You’re like water, except I need you more than 8 times a day.
I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any boy you’ll ever meet.
I wanna bag you like some groceries.
Do you know how to reverse your car? I can teach you how to back it up.
I wish you were my teeth, so I could grind you all night long.
I can be the Chemical X to your concoction since you’re sugar, spice, and everything nice.
The only place where I’d kiss you publicly is in a church, at our wedding.
Excuse me, but I’m really attracted to you and according to Newton’s laws of gravitation, you’re attracted to me too.
Are you Vietnamese? Because I’m falling pho you.
I’m like a fireman, I turn the hoes on.
Hey girl, what’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.
It’s impossible to spell “pick up” without “u.”
I was looking in the window of a store and I saw something adorable to get you for Christmas. Then I realized it was my reflection.
I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you, I’m the coach.
Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair so I can climb into your underwear.
You’re attractive. I’m decent looking. We’re both sexually frustrated. Why aren’t we naked yet?
How about I slip down your chimney at half past midnight?
Mario is red. Sonic is blue. Press start to join and be my player 2.
Call me Ariel, because I want to be a part of your world.
With school, I just want an A. With you I just wanna F.
Are you from Maine? Because you’re my Maine squeeze.
Are you from Hawaii? Because I want your clothes to hang-loose.
Are you Michael Jackson? Because you make me wanna Beat It.
Are you a chemist, ‘cause you’re looking Fluorine Iodine Neon.
This isn’t a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for the love machine.
Do you have a map? Because I’m getting lost in your eyes.
I have an X in my equation that U can replace.
You wanna say hello to my kitty?
You’re gorgeous, but you’d look better with me.
You’re pretty and I’m cute. Together, we’d be pretty cute.
What do you say we make this a not-so-silent night?
Hi! I’m the girl of your dreams. Someone said you were looking for me?
Are you from Japan? Because you’re making miso horny.
Are you Donkey Kong? Because I want to Super Smash.
We must have good pitch, because baby, you and I are so in tune.
Are you a tangerine? Because I think you’re a cutie.
They say the femur is the longest bone in your body, mind if I change that?
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket? Because I’m diggin’ that ass.
Do you work at Little Cesar’s? Because you’re hot and I’m ready
I wish I was adenine so I could get paired with U.
Girl, you’re like a Blackjack hand. 21 and perfect.
I’ll be your Santa, baby.
I’m not toilet paper, but I’d be all up in that booty.
This food is going to taste great. Don’t worry, you will, too.
Girl, if we were countries, you’d be Turkey and I’d be Hungary.
Are those space pants you’re wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.
Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
If we were squirrels, I would store my nuts in your hole.
Did you have Campbell’s soup this morning? Because you’re lookin’ mm mm good
If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
Let’s play Mortal Combat because I want to finish you.
if you were food, you’d definitely be a cutie pie.
Kiss me if i’m wrong but, dinosaurs still exist right?
I’m not Santa, but you can still sit on my lap.
I call my dick ‘Darth Vader’ because he’s everyone’s father.
I’m like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
I’ve got something you can hang a wreath on.
I’ll put my finger in your precious.
I may not be Treebeard, but I do enjoy going south.
The back of your head is ridiculous.
Do you dissect insects for scientific research? I thought you might want to take a look inside my fly.
Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
Something tells me you’re sweet. May I have a sample?
Is your name David? Because I want to be Goliath and fall for you.
I’ll show you my King-Kong if you show me your Ding-Dong.
Are you a hockey goalie? Or do you just like hard, black things in between your legs?
Do you have a jersey? ‘cause I need your name and number.
Let’s make a fraction; me on top of you.
Are you a scientist? Because I want to do you on a table, periodically.
Are you Christmas? Because I wanna merry you!
Is your body from McDonalds? Because I’m lovin’ it.
Did you eat some Frosted Flakes? Because you’re not good—you’re great.
Tennis players know how to hit it.
I must be huntin’ treasure, ‘cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.
You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.
Can you recommend a bank where I can make a deposit? Because I’m planning to save all my love for you
Is that butt yours or a cigarette’s? Because that thing is smokin’.
You must be a keyboard because you’re just my type.
I must be going through anaerobic respiration ‘cause you take my breath away!
We’re like cocoa and marshmallows; you’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
Can you be my Christmas present? Because i would like to unwrap you
Do you have a sunburn or are you always this hot?
It’s just so hard when you’re so cute and I’m so horny and there’s only a couple of thin layers of cotton separating our genitals.
On a scale from one to Spongebob, are ready are you?
Your parents must’ve been drug dealers because you’re dope.
I’m no basketball player but I do have a Magic Johnson.
Are you a 90 degree angle? ‘Cause you’re looking right!
Good thing I brought my library card because I’m checking you out.
Let’s eat. I’ll pay.
I can tell the future and I can see you giving me your number.
I have two words for you: ‘I love you,’ because you and I are one.
I’m dora and I’m gon’ explore you.
Are your breasts from Wendy’s? Because I know when its real.
baby you’re as hot as the bottom of my laptop.
Your face is beautiful, but it would look even better between my legs.
I have no STDs.
You’re my biggest weakness.
Ping-Pong players know how to tap it.
I was blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Hey, I own a pick-up line blog.
Are you a carbonated drink? Because you’re making me all bubbly on the inside.
Did you come out of an owl’s mouth? Because you are a hoot.
Help the homeless and take me home with you.
Do you like steak? Because I have a juicy T-Bone for you.
Damn if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.
You better have a license, cus you’re driving me crazy.
My favorite days are Saturday and Sunday because they have U in them.
You’re cute. Let’s get ice cream.
You should pretend my legs are made of butter and spread them.
That’s weird I’ve never seen a princess out of her castle.
I’m like a taco—hard or soft, I’m still delicious.
My nickname is Pogo, you wanna jump on my stick?
Damn girl, you look so good I just wanna go and plant a whole field of y’all.
Liquor is not the only hard thing around here.
is your name highway? cuz i wanna ride you all night long
I’m like IHOP, come hungry leave happy.
Hey baby, are you down? Cause my zipper is.
We’re wearing the same color shirt. We should have sex.
Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.
I’ll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet.
You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge
Do you work at Subway? Because you’re giving me a footlong.
Caution: Please keep your distance. I might fall for you.
Good thing you didn’t put a bike lock on your body, cause I’m gonna ride you home.
My love for you is like diarrhea—never ending.
do you like el pollo loco? cuz i wanna wrap you up like a burrito and taste your fire.
My doctor said that I’m deficient in vitamin U.
Watch your head! I’ll watch the rest of you.
Hey baby If you were Karma can you be my bitch?
I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I’m about to get lucky.
Can I see your Jigglypuffs?
There’s something wrong with my bed. You’re not in it.
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d tap that.
Are you sex? Because I want to have you.
Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart. You steal mine.
They say vegans taste better. Want to find out?
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Please take them off.
Are you Medusa? Because you make me rock hard.
I’m a percussionist. I’m good with my hands.
Have you ever eaten at Quizno’s, because I can guarantee my torpedo is tasty.
Hi, I’m Ryan Gosling.
Are you a morning person? Because you just made me an early riser.
I’m Chuck Bass.
Is your vagina the 1%? Because I want to occupy it.
My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling.
Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark you still seem to shine.
If you were my bike, I would ride you everyday.
If I was a chocobo, would you ride me?
Would you like to create something beautiful with me?
I want to do something with you. I want to sweat with you. I want to hear you breathe hard. I want to get all hot with you. So, want to go running sometime?
I’ll give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, you can return it.
do you like stars? I know a motel with five.
Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem Wright for me.
On a scale of 1-10, what’s your number?
Are you an orphanage? Because I wanna give you kids.
Those clothes don’t suit you at all. It’s either a dress or nothing! And I happen to have no dress in my cabin.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
You’ve got curves like a racetrack, and tonight, I’m gonna be your Ricky Bobby.
You look better on your knees.
Are you a pirate? Cause I’d like to be your first mate.
You make me feel as dirty as my bathroom mirror.
I don’t know if you’re beautiful or not, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.
You’re a girl? Prove it.
I know you’re not Rihanna, but I think we found love.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I can’t jelly my dick into your ass.
If I told you I’m trying to get in to your heart, would you let me in?
Excuse me, is there enough room in your pants for me?
Is there a phone in your pants? Because something in them’s calling me.
Are you a game of Frisbee? Because you’re so fetch.
You can call me Kanye West, because “I’mma let you finish.”
You know what’s really beautiful? Read the first word.
Unlike Subway, my footlong doesn’t cost five dollars.
You’re dirtier than my browser’s history.
Baby, I last longer than a white crayon.
Excuse me, but you’re really cute.
Baby I’m no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight
You are almost perfect. All you need is me.
Are you a 45 degree angle? Because you’re acute-y!
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Marry. Marry who? Marry me.
Are you a drug dealer? Because you make me so high.
you have a really good looking face, but it would look better in between my legs
Can I test out your gag reflex?
Do you play Pokemon? Cause I want to throw my balls at you.
Your boobs would look good in my hands.
Do you have a switch? ‘Cause baby I wanna turn you on
I will pay your light bill and buy you tampons.
You’re just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique, and with one touch you’ll be wet.
I’m good at algebra; I can replace your X and you wouldn’t need to figure out Y.’
You’re the kind of person I can see myself surviving a zombie apocalypse with.
The only thing bigger than my hard drive is my sex drive.
Wow, you’re good at battling. Want to give me your phone number? (pokemon gold/silver)
Well, I’m hoping you like it dark, hot, sweet, and with a spoon in it. (fresh prince)
How about some fries to go with that shake?
Damn baby, you so fine. (fresh prince)
Girl, I gotta tell you, that suit looks like a piece of good God wrapped up in some have mercy, with a side of mmh! (fresh prince)
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?
I wanna stuff you like a stuffed-crust pizza.
Are you a Pokemon trainer? Because you’ve captured my heart.
I would die in a game of Temple Run for you.
You make my heart go boom boom. You must be my supernova girl.
I wanna get tangled up with you like the earphones in my pocket.
You say I’m too cocky, put your hand in my pocket you’ll feel cocky too.
Would you like a map? I wouldn’t want you to get lost on your way to me.
You be the wind, I’ll be the sails, and you can blow me all night long.
I won’t give up on you just like I didn’t in MW3.
I need to go home and do laundry. Want to keep me company?
Do you like breakfast in bed? ‘Cause I can just get on top of you.
Your eyes shine brighter than Chip Skylark’s teeth.
I’m the flower, you’re the bee. Why don’t you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?
Want to see the backseat of my car?
Are you a Tootsie Pop? Because I want to find out how many licks it takes to get to your center.
Are you running for office? Because I can see an erection coming soon.
Nice ankles, but I’d like them better if they were on my shoulders.
If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
Are you David Beckham? because I’d bend for you.
If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
I know you think I’m beautiful, but I’m only just a mirror
Why would you pay for a bra when I could hold your boobs up all day for nothing?
The best part of me is covered up.
I go down like the London Bridge.
Nice bed. Can we break it?
I would put you on my Top 8.
I’ll be your Wonder Woman if you be my Superman.
You are a cinema, I could watch you forever.
I blame your perfect breasts for my inability to focus during our conversations.
My zombie plan has been rewritten to include you.
Your face is a work of art. We should frame it. With my legs.
There’s something about you that just makes me want to have sex with you all the time.
Have you ever heard of princesses? Let me know if you ever want to be treated like one.
I hope you have pet insurance because I’m about to destroy your pussy.
Breathe if you’re horny.
Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
Do you know how to use a whip?
Are you a lionel richie fan?, ‘cause we’ll be at it all night long!
Will you be the Cory to my Topanga?
Hockey players have big sticks.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
You’re the kind of girl I’d unfollow model blogs for.
Spongebob is missing and I need to check your moist cave.
How about you slip into something more comfortable, like me?
I may not be popular, but if given the chance, I’ll put out something fierce.
You’re a girl worth fighting for.
You’re like a Sharpie—super fine.
I will follow you to the ends of the earth. Good thing Earth is a circle.
If you provide the dinner, I’ll provide the dessert.
I noticed that you’re having a very difficult time confessing your love to me.
Just like my blog, you are quality.
Where’s your favorite place in the world? Because mine is being right next to you.
You’re my Nemo. If you get lost in the great, big ocean, I’ll find you.
In bed, I’m just like my fixed-gear bike: Extremely hard to stop.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together at an MGMT show.
Let’s role play. I’ll be the girl scout and you can eat my cookies
You have a beautiful smile, but it would look better wrapped around my penis.
If beauty was inches, you’d go on for miles.
Have you grown some since I’ve seen you last? Well, in the last few minutes looking at you I’ve grown about two inches
I just quit smoking. Want to be my new oral fixation?
Call me if you want to know what true love really feels like.
The only anatomy I should be studying is yours.
I lost my shirt. Do you mind if I wrap your legs around me instead?
I’ll make your panties drop harder than the bass at a dubstep show.
Why don’t we just have sex and break this obvious sexual tension.
You remind me of fast food, because I wanna pick you up and eat you in my car.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put S and M together.
Save water; shower with me.
I’ll watch The Notebook with you
I’ll put the passion in your fruit.
How about you and I make like film in a darkroom and see what develops?
Do you like dragons? Because in a minute, I’ll be dragon these nuts across your face.
Roses are red. Grass is green. I want to get in your bed if you know what I mean.
I named my penis Mufasa; he lives in you.
What’s better than roses on my piano? Tulips on my organ.
If you’d be any type of candy, you would be my Lifesaver.
Just like origami, I’m hard, yet satisfying.
Music sounds better with you.
Here’s my number; call me, maybe?
I volunteer as tribute.
Girl, I’d let you out of the kitchen.
They say I’m like a universal remote ‘cause I can turn anything on.
You should date me because YOLO.
You know what they say about guys with big hands; they give great foot rubs.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you’re from district 6, I’m from district 9.
What are the odds of you being in my favour?
Are you from district 12? Because I’m about to make you mine.
You remind me of my big toe because I’m eventually going to bang you on a table.
Girl, I keep trying to read your shirt but all I see is DD DD.
I want you to ride me like Luke rode his Taun-Taun.
I’ve got a Boba Fett-ish for you.
Let’s become one with the Force.
I find your lack of nudity disturbing.
My psychologist says I’m afraid of commitment. Want to prove him wrong?
They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body. Wanna fight?
You look nice, but you’d look even better in my bed.
Thanks for the butterflies.
Do you have someplace to put my boner?
My penis is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.
Picasso would give up cubism just to paint your curves.
The only tan line I want is the one from your arm around my shoulder.
Are you made out of Copper and Tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.
I like my women how I like my Subway sandwiches; spicy and Italian.
Let’s figure out the density of my wood and see if it sinks in your sea.
I’d like you like I like my Stacy’s: simply naked.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You fuck me and I’ll fuck you.
Let’s make like a swear word and fuck.
Are you a crayon? Because you bring color into my life.
Do you like cheese?
I’d like to park my car in your garage.
Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.
My love for you burns more than my herpes.
Have you seen how hot my mom is?
You give me premature ventricular contractions.
I have a PHD: a pretty huge dick.
If it’s not too much treble, I’d really like to B with you—naturally.
Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
I’ll make you forget about him.
Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.
Guess what I’ve got? A boner.
They say to “do what you love.” So, when are we going to fuck?
Roses are red. Pickles are green. I like your legs and what’s in between.
Next time you think of beautiful things, don’t forget to count yourself in.
Did you sit on a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a sweet ass.
I like my bed but I’d rather be in yours.
Roses are red, the sun is gold. Get on your knees and do as you’re told.
You must be an airbender; you take my breath away.
I don’t need to be a waterbender to get you wet.
Can you redirect lightning? Because babe, I can feel sparks.
What’s the difference between you and a mosquito? When I slap a mosquito, it stops sucking.
If I could rearrange any two letters of the alphabet together, I would still put my penis into your vagina.
Girl, I’m like an appetizer. I always come first.
Girl, you must be a Charmander because your ass is hot.
Hey baby, I heard you like gun shows, so here’s my penis.
Mind if I borrow the keys to your motorboat?
Would you mind teaching my Squirtle Water Gun?
You don’t look like a Bulbasaur, but I’d let you Vine Whip me anytime.
I don’t own a canoe, but I sure know how to use a paddle.
You breathe air? Me too! We should have sex.
Me captain will have me walk the plank if I don’t bring back some booty.
I like my juice how I like my women - let’s have sex.
If you were a gun, I’d cock you all night.
I’m no police officer, but I’d sure like to cop a feel.
I’ll give you a rare candy if you help me get my PP-Up.
Would you like to help me polish my Steelix?
My penis has a wi-fi hotspot.
If you were homework, I’d fuck you.
Your eyes. Are an ocean. Your breasts. Are also an ocean.